The Scarying

The Scarying is the first film released in The Scarying series, released on March 5, 2010. It was produced by BAMF Studios and released to widespread critical acclaim. The Scarying details the story of the origins of The Monster, as well as Manfred McManlison's quest to defeat it. The first screening of the film was reportedly so incredible that 14 viewers eyes bled out from the amazingness, and 3 more stated that they would never watch a movie again because it would never top The Scarying. The film was not released in theaters for minor inconveniences, but most critics agree that the monumental film was much better than anything Hollywood could have produced'''. 'The Scarying ''is currently the only film in the series to be released, but the other ones would be even more awesome.

Story
In a dark and spooky shed, an asian man wakes in a cold sweat, tied to a chair. Unknowing what is happening, he cries out in fear. An odd sound cries and alerts the man, who starts to scream, knowing his grim fate lies ahead. The Monster attacks, killing the poor civilian. A new threat has been born.

One week earlier, The Monster's origin is revealed. The villainous Count Crrrrraig drives up in the most vile car created- the Toyota Prius. He travels through a field to speak with a farmer about a seal and a chicken pig. The farmer agrees to offer up his farmhand as a slave to Crrrrraig, much to the farmhand's confusion. He is brought to Crrrrraig's lab, and after being told that his shoes are untied, Crrrrraig proceeds to beat him with a wrench. Crrrrraig makes preparations to create his monster. When the beast is complete, it attacks him, killing him.

Meanwhile, KQJX News reports on the issue with its correspondent, Manfred McManlison. He is joined by the fresh, hip, whippersnapping intern, Peter Peroxide as they report on the death of Count Crrrrraig, as well as the ongoing Kitten Fashion Show. This reminds Peter of a fancy of his. J. Jonah Jameson watches the footage of the newscast and is outraged. He sends Manfred out on a quest. The mission: find The Monster or he is fired (fired meaning literally burned alive, as per his unorthodox managerial techniques). Manfred and Peter set out and learn of a mysterious old man who had given Peter some "candy". Manfred is willing to cooperate with the shady character because he does not want to relive his experiences at the homeless shelter with the Hobo.

Manfred and Peter meet the old man, who introduces himself as Professor Dongledore. The trio are taken into his lab and are given more of the mysterious candy. 5 hours, 16 minutes, and 43.69 seconds later, they awake to question Dongledore about the monster. He tells them of Count Crrrrraig and his evil lab, located at 666 Evil Lair Blvd. After a scary encounter between Manfred and Dongledore's beard, Manfred and Peter leave for the evil lab. There, they find a video camera detailing detailing Crrrrraig's monster logs. They watch Monster Log 6784738.2, which reveals that Crrrrraig traveled to South America to get the feather of a legendary bird and that the monster is complete. This case has taken a rather strange turn. As the duo leaves the lab, they are followed by a mysterious bird.

As Manfred and Peter leave the lair, they are greeted by an asian man, who is excited to check out an abandoned shed. It is revealed that he is taken captive by The Monster, leading to the introduction of the film, where he is attacked and killed. Manfred and Peter find his body and report on the scene. Halfway through the news report, Manfred gets frustrated with all the death and decides to find The Monster by himself, leaving Peter to do the newscast alone, which consists of techno-rave dancing. Manfred arrives at Dongledore's lab demanding answers on how to destroy The Monster. Dongledore says that he has no answer yet, but informs Manfred that The Monster films its murders, which worries Manfred because Peter was left at the scene of the crime. Manfred insists that someone go save him. After a long and thoughtful debate, they elect Stan, who is very excited to save Peter. Manfred and Dongledore are left alone in his lab. After an uncomfortable silence, it gets worse when Dongledore starts rubbing his crotch. Manfred leaves to save Peter.

Peter is sitting in the basement, just chillin'. Stan walks in and inquires about Peter's well-being. Peter retaliates with a well-articulated retort that he is unequivocally and indubitably doing quite exquisite despite the detrimental predicament that could incontrovertibly extirpate his personage. E=mc^2. Peter tells Stan about a video camera that he found, and while they watch the footage recorded on the camera, The Monster creeps in and attacks Stan and Peter. Manfred rushes in right as Peter's head is ripped off, but The Monster manages to teleport away unharmed.

Manfred heads off to Sonic to "drown [his] sorrows in tater tots". While there, he meets Crazy British Guy. After shamelessly stealing Manfred's hard-earned tater tots without so much as a single thought, he tells Manfred about the Andybird and presents it to him. He advises that Manfred use the Andybird to defeat The Monster, as it can "destroy evil spirits". Manfred doesn't trust the odd foreigner, but reluctantly takes the Andybird with him. Crazy British Guy bids him farewell, and vanishes into thin air (hides under the table). Manfred returns to Dongledore's lab, with the Andybird in tow. A highly intoxicated Dongledore lashes out against the Andybird, saying to "get that crap outta [his] house", to which Manfred obliges. Dongledore remarks that he has found a way to kill The Monster: javelina feet. Manfred has some in his truck ("just in case"), so he sets off to round up a mob. Dongledore stays behind, however, feeling an evil presence. Dongledore calls out for Count Crrrrraig, knowing that the evil mastermind has returned as a zombie. Crrrrraig and Dongledore prepare for an epic duel. Their so-called sabers of light run out of power, so they must battle with mathematics. Dongledore is able to best Crrrrraig, who pleads for his life. Meanwhile, Manfred tracks The Monster to a field, and The Monster laughs at his pathetic wimpyness. Manfred signals for The Mob to arrive and the Battle of Ma'shegga'ra'agslan Field begins. They use the javelina feet on The Monster, and believe it to be dead. However, much to their chagrin, the feet only made The Monster stronger. It attacks The Mob and seems to have the upper hand. Manfred's true nature shows, as he hides in fear while his comrades are brutally killed in highly gruesome hilarious ways. Manfred reveals that he is, in fact, a fake and rips his false beard off. Back in Dongledore's lab, Crrrrraig explains that when he created The Monster, a second was also created: the Andybird. Because they were created at the same time, they are bonded and one must kill the other to grow to its full potential. He also reveals that they must be returned to their human form, otherwise they are invincible. Dongledore kills Crrrrraig because he's a total d-bag. He then sets off to concoct the cure that will turn The Monster human.

The battle rages on in Ma'shegga'ra'agslan Field. The Monster kills nearly everyone, but Manfred regains his composure, duct tapes his beard back on, and prepares to face The Monster head on. Needless to say, he gets turned into a fleshy soup and absorbed into The Monster's gelatinous body, but his beard remains. Now with no opposition, The Monster goes on a vicious rampage and wreaks havoc upon the world. It then focuses its attention on the last remaining survivor base, the Death Plains. Meanwhile, Dongledore finishes creating the cure and administers it to The Monster. The cure works, just like Dongledore had hoped, and The Monster and the Andybird become human. In a mighty battle of power, the two superhumans duke it out on the ravaged wasteland. Surprisingly, The Monster wins, much to Dongledore's dismay. As he prepares for his death, he seemingly wakes up from a horrible dream.

All is not how it seems, however. Dongledore slowly finds out that it is he who is trapped in a chair in a spooky shed at The Monster's mercy. He is doomed.....................................as are you.

Cast

 * Brad Shoemaker as Manfred McManlison, a news reporter working for KQJX News who finds himself intertwined in the mystery. Manfred is determined to save the world, but his cowardice and gullibility land him frequently into trouble. He sports an easily-noticeable fake beard in an attempt to make himself seem tougher.
 * Nick DePalma as Crazy British Guy, a mysterious stranger who teaches Manfred about the Andybird and the legends about it. He seems to have the uncanny ability to appear to Manfred out of nowhere. He has a strong source of information about the supernatural world, and maintains an oddly cheerful demeanor.
 * Calvin Root as The Monster, the primary antagonizing force throughout the film. The Monster has a variety of superpowers that include, but are not limited to: teleportation, fire breath, the ability to stop sound, the ability to be awesome, the ability to awesomely stop sound, and missiles. The Monster is a mixture of a pig, a seal, a vampire, and pure evil.
 * Thomas Meier as Professor Dongledore, the elderly "scientist" who helps Manfred along his quest. He operates from his lab to find a way to destroy the Monster. Because of Dongledore's age, he is quite senile and quick to make odd comments, as well as generally acting creepy around others.
 * Cameron Langley as Count Crrrrraig, the mad scientist who created The Monster. He is killed by The Monster, as he did not recognize its true power, but returns from the dead to face off against Professor Dongledore. Crrrrraig is ruthless, but rather clumsy as well.
 * Spencer Cooper as Peter Peroxide, the doofy sidekick acting as an intern to Manfred. It is heavily implied that he's on some sort of drugs, but who knows for sure?
 * Andy Knapp as the Andybird, the mythical bird accidently created when The Monster was born. The Andybird has a mysterious past known only through legends, but all that is clearly known is that it despises The Monster.
 * Tim Regalado as Intro Victim, whose name predicted his fate, as he is the victim in the intro.
 * Mitch Tingey as Farmer, whose occupation is appropriately named.
 * Nick DePalma as J. Jonah Jameson, Manfred's odd boss, who seems obsessed about a certain licensed character.
 * Stanley Pernell Gill, Jr. as Stanley Pernell Gill, Jr.
 * Nick DePalma as Hobo
 * James Worley as Admiral Ackbar, yes THAT Admiral Ackbar...
 * Mitchell DePalma as El Ganso de la Muerte
 * Ryan Fulleman as Fred Ductaperly
 * Andy Hergatt as Andy McHergatt
 * Josh Hsu as Josh Shoe-Wa
 * Rajan Kapoor as Kumar Chandrasekarishnamurthrivastavapeemapetilon
 * Will Kiesecker as Kiltron "Kill" Dangerson
 * Cameron Langley as Nott Craig
 * Steven Langley as Sir Brave the Timid
 * Grant Lee as K. Thooloo
 * Tim Regalado as Dr. Tim Monster
 * Brandon Manske as Gunnah B. Deaderton
 * David Pyon as Shoticus Witha Gunicus
 * Ian Rogers as General Maggot Johnson
 * Ryan Sarsar as Billy Bob Shovelson
 * Cody Vander Weyst as Vander Vander Weyst Weyst
 * James Worley as Easily-Ripped-Off-Arms Man
 * Dean Shoemaker as ???????