Part 7



'OFFICIAL SCRIPT'

By: Brad Shoemaker and Nick DePalma

 PART 7: 

C Puffs groggily wakes up in a police style interrogation room. It’s dark, and it’s got a desk and a mirror. McGregor walks in and punches him in the face.

MCGREGOR: WHERE IS HE?!!?!!?!?

C Puffs grimaces in pain.

C PUFFS: Aren’t you supposed to ask the questions FIRST?

McGregor punches him again, harder.

MCGREGOR: WHAT?! I DIDN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF YOUR NOSE BREAKING!

C PUFFS: But my nose isn’t-

One more punch, breaking his nose.

C PUFFS: OH MY GOD!

MCGREGOR: Looks like I’ll need my trusty “talkin’ stick”.

He leaves, and Manfred comes.

MANFRED (friendly): Hey there, guy, crazy weather huh? You know what’s even more crazy? That Diablo Peroxido fella, right? Here, have a cigarette.

Sign comes up on the bottom of screen: “Remember kids, always smoke”

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">As soon as Manfred says this, C Puffs looks up from his bloodied hands and slowly lowers them.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">C PUFFS: I will NEVER tell you about El Diablo (he starts a long sustained laugh)

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">MANFRED: Suit yourself

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">He leaves. The door suddenly busts down, McGregor is holding a cattle prod.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">MCGREGOR: Found my talkin’ stick!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">C PUFFS: That means nothing! Nothing you do can make this bird sing! CAAAAW—wait.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">McGregor prods him a couple of times.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">MCGREGOR: YOU’RE IT! NO BACKSIES!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">C PUFFS: Your good cop, bad cop routine won’t work on me!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">MCGREGOR: Who said anything about good cop bad cop?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">He leaves. Silence.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">C PUFFS: Wait…. What else is there?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Suddenly, a strange gurgling roar is heard and grows louder.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">C PUFFS: …what in the-

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Suddenly, Thongledore jumps onto the table and thrusts his banana hammock into C Puffs’ face.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">C PUFFS: E-excuse me? How is this supposed to work?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Thongledore jumps back off the table.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Camera shows C Puffs’ face, banana hammock hits his face, and very slowly slides down. C Puffs’ eyes are huge.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">C PUFFS (monotone voice, frightened): I will tell you everything.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Manfred, Badass, and McGregor are at the entrance.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">MANFRED: Excellent. Thongledore, you go get the information out of him.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">C PUFFS: Wait, I said that I’ll tell you everything!!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">MANFRED (matter-of-factly): No you won’t. You still need some more “convincing”.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">C PUFFS: No, don’t leave me here!! I said that I’ll tell!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">MANFRED (flatly): Nope

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">McGregor picks up the busted door and haphazardly puts it back into place. Manfred looks through the crack of the door before it closes.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">MANFRED: See ya.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">C Puffs is shaking violently, trying to leave, but he is handcuffed to the table. He is sobbing and trying to gnaw his own arm off. Thongledore laughs. Fade to black as the laugh echoes.